Craptastic PokeCrap
by tim.burton.owns
Summary: This is the work of a crazed teenager that may be on the verge of insanity!BEWARE!It's a funny story but there are som inside jokes,but only a few!
1. Chapter 1

The Craptastic Poke-Crap

Warning: This story contains the contents of the mind of a crazed teenager that is probably on the verge of insanity. SO DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YA KIDDIES!

Author's Note:Now, I don't know why I'm saying this, but the reason I am writing this story is this: I was really bored at like 2:37 A.M. and I was listening to the Weird Al Yankovic song "Polkamon" so there ya go!

STORY TIME!

Narrator- We start our story out in Cerulean City where we will follow—

Evie- WHAT? FOLLOW? STALKER!

Katrina- Evie, chill out, man! That's just the creepy narrator dude that I hired!

Evie- You hired this freak?

Katrina- I feel bad for him! **in hushed whisper** I think he may be mentally retarded!

Narrator- DUUUUUUUUHHHH!

Evie- Oh, I see what you mean. He used way too many "U"s , "H"s and "!"s in that last phrase.

Katrina- Yeah, and I don't think he has any friends.

Evie- He probably lives with his mom.

Katrina- WE live with our moms.

Evie- Oh, yeah….too soon, too quick!

Katrina- STOP SAYING THAT! IT'S "MY BAD!" NOT THAT RETARDED SAYING! God, that saying is like the bologna of sayings.

Evie- NUH UH! It's the steak of sayings!

Narrator- Are you gonna let me do my job or do I have to kill you both?

Evie– Fine! **in sing-song voice** testy!

Narrator- God, you guys are so annoying! Anyway… We start out in Cerulean City where we follow two of our female characters.

Katrina- WOW! What an impressive narration! I am just completely blown away! You can go collect your day time emmy now!

Narrator- Okay, you know what? Screw this! Screw you! I quite! I never should have dropped out of clown school!

Evie- Oh my god! He went to clown school!

Katrina- That's right! Now, give me my twenty bucks! I win the bet!

Author's Note: Okay, there's the first official chapter! Sorry about how short is is, but hey, I thought it was a little funny. And if you don't think it was funny and you think I am a horrible person for putting this online or even thing up this crap, here are two suggestions of what you should do next!

Lighten up!

SHOVE IT UP YOUR $$!


	2. Chapter 2

The Craptastic Poke-Crap

Author's Note: Sorry about how short the last chapter was! I will try to make this chapter longer! I will have a lot of trouble focusing on writing this because I'm listening to Panic! At The Disco right now, which means I'm fantasizing about going to a concert of theirs and rocking out with my friends! Okay, well…this is embarrassing. Now you all know one of my greatest dreams…. Oh well! EN A LA HISTORIA! (which is Spanish for ON TO THE STORY!).

Back at Katrina's house….

Mom- Hey Katrina?

Katrina- What this time?

Mom- I think you need to go start that pokemon craze!

Katrina- Well, mother, I would love to if it weren't for the undeniable fact that I hate pokemon like a fat kid hates carrots!

Mom- Well…. It will be good exercise!

Katrina- Oh, so first you think I would be retarded enough to fall for that craptastic poke-crap and now you're calling me fat?

Mom- Umm…. Uh…. What is "no" Alex Trebek!

Katrina- Mom, we're not on Jeopardy.

Mom- Oh….sorry!

Katrina- Okay, well I can see that you are dead-set on me doing this pokemon thing so I'll consider it. But, I have to consult Evie first!

Instant Messaging Thing-y

Snubbullhater (Katrina)- so my mom wants me to do that gay pokemon thing…Oh screw this! You're just gonna laugh at me! Like that time I told you that I had to travel back to the year (something) B.C. to stop Christ from being born!

Skittyscarer (Evie)- um…as much as I would love to laugh (and I do) I can't…

Snubbullhater- umm….why?

Skittyscarer- Because I have to do the pokemon thing also.

Snubbullhater- Aw crap! We're both stuck I guess!

Skittyscarer- Yeah…

Snubbullhater- Unless…

Skittyscarer- Unless?

Snubbullhater- UNLESS WE WIPE OUT THE ENTIRE POKEMON POPULATION BY POISONING THEIR WATER SUPPLY!

Skittyscarer- umm….katrina, do you listen to yourself speak?

Snubbullhater- I drift in and out.

Skittyscarer- Yeah, I thought so….bye then!

Snubbullhater- Bye!

End of chapter 2!


	3. Chapter 3

The Craptastic Poke-Crap

Author's Note: Hola! It is I! The masked composer! And, yes! I did just make that name up! Nobody actually calls me that! But I would like to try to start that! So there! ON TO THE STORY!

At Evie's House!

Evie- I wonder when my mom will get back with the pokemon!

Katrina- I wonder what crappy cutesy pokemon my mom will manage to find for me!

K's Mom- I have the cutest little pokemon for you, Katrina!

E's Mom- I found the cutest little thing-y!

Katrina- Oh…My…God! That thing it hideous! Ew, it's a Snubbull!

K's Mom- Katrina! Don't hurt his feelings! His name is Mr. Suggle Wuffle Kins!

Katrina- Can I call him Dead-Meat?

Evie- HAHAHAHAHA!

E's Mom- Evie, look what I found!

Evie- Oh god, what is it?

E's Mom- It's a Diglett!

Katrina- It looks like a big turd!

Evie- I think it is!

E's Mom- Evie! You stop that right now!

Evie- Ew….It's moving….Do I have to touch it?

Katrina- I'll give you ten bucks if you touch it!

Evie- Okay fine!

Katrina- As if! You're not getting my ten bucks!

K's Mom- Well, well, well! Will you look at the time! I'd say it's time for you pokemon trainers to hit the road and not come back for several years!

Evie- But we're only 13!

E's Mom- Don't worry! Your pokemon will protect you!

Katrina- No they won't! Look! **punches Snubbull and kick over Diglett**. See?

K's Mom- I DON'T CARE! LEAVE NOW!

Evie- FINE, BITCH, MAYBE WE WILL!

Katrina- Woah, woah, woah! Come on now! That's my mom!

Evie- Oh, sorry! Guess I got carried away!

Katrina- You think?

Evie- Wait! Our parents left us here!

Katrina- Oh, well! They were unimportant to the story, remember?

Evie- Oh, yeah! Let's go!

End of Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

The Craptastic Poke-Crap

Author's Note: Okay, so in this chapter, Evie and Katrina meet some dudes in Pallet Town. Their moms forced them to become pokemon trainers so they all decide to become an easily defeated group of four instead of two easily defeated groups of two!

ON-a TO-a THE-a STORY-a!

Guy #1- YOU STUPID FREAKIN' POKE-CREEP! MOVE! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

Guy #2- WHY DID OUR MOTHERS FORCE US TO DO THIS?

Katrina- Hmm…Hey Evie! There are some other people who are being forced in becoming pokemon trainers over there! Let's go talk to them!

Evie- Fine, but I'm still not touching that giant piece of crap!

Katrina- Lighten up! Not all guys are bad!

Evie- No, not the guys! My pokemon!

Katrina- Oh….HEY YOU! YEAH YOU! THE ONE WITH THE FACE!

Guy #1- Who's that crazy chick?

Guy #2- **shrugs while shooing away his pidgey**

Evie- What's that giant sack of lard doing in the road?

Guy #1- That giant sack of lard is my pokemon , Snorlax! I hate him so much!

Katrina- That bird thing looks pretty annonying!

Guy #2- IT IS! I WANT TO KILL IT!

Guy #1- I'm Jorma! **sticks out a hand to Evie and nods to Katrina**

Evie- I'm Evie! **shakes Jorma's hand**

Jorma- I know! I read the little thing beside what we say that says our names!

Evie- Oh….

Guy #2- Hey, do I have to say my name or can I just remain Guy #2! I like that because it says #2! HAHAHAHA! #2!

Jorma- You don't have to say your name if you don't want to….BUT I SURE AS HELL WILL! HIS NAME IS CORBIN!

Corbin- Aw man…Jorma you are just ants at a picnic!

Jorma- Umm….Excues me? I'm ants at a picnic!

Corbin- Uh huh!

Katrina- You know what? I'M GETTING BORED!

Evie- Yeah this is kind of uneventful.

Corbin- Yeah, I thought so….

Jorma- Wow….well this is kind of awkward. Umm….jeez….So….

Evie- Um…

Katrina- Well….Evie has a giant turd as a pokemon, if that starts conversation.

Corbin- I personally think that all pokemon look like crap so….umm….

Jorma- We need this to end huh?

Evie- Yeah….yeah we do.

Narrator- Well guess what, bitch? I'm the one that announces when the chapter is over and I'm still super pissed at you guys!

Katrina- Not this freak again!

Jorma- Who's this?

Evie- The narrator! I hate him so much!

Narrator- I can hear you! And that really hurts my feelings you guys! I just….I JUST WANT TO FIT IN!

Corbin- Well, you can't! You know why? BECAUSE YOUY SUCK!

Narrator- NUH UH!

Corbin- YA HUH!

Narrator- I'm getting my mommy! MOMMY!

N's Mom- WHAT DO YOU WANT THIS TIME, SEAMORE!

Jorma- Your name is Seamore?

Narrator (Seamore hahaha!)- Ya….umm….so?

N's Mom- WHAT DID YOU WANT STUFFY KINS?

Katrina- Stuffy Kins, eh?

Narrator- SHUT UP! WAAAAAAH! **runs off, crying**

Evie- Hey, Mrs. Narrator?

M's Mom- Oh, it's Ms. Narrator, dear, I divorced Seamore's father long ago. He was a loser, just like Seamore.

Evie- Okay, Ms. Narrator? Will you end the chapter for us? Please?

N's Mom- Oh, okay, dearies!

End of Chapter 4


End file.
